Inspiring Relationships: Renovations and Romance


Northern Beaches relationship expert and certified results coach Jürgen Schmechel, explains why renovating is a sure-fire way to put stress into your relationship.

In any relationship there are few pivotal moments that have the potential to make or break the harmony. Meeting the parents, moving house and even worse, renovating. 

Renovating is a very stressful experience for any couple. When we move together we accept what is there, for good or bad we take it as it is. Now with renovating, we are going back to the drawing board where we can freely design and decide what we want - so we think. In reality we have to compromise with the ideas and taste of our partner.

Decisions cause stress because they have major implications. Every change can add thousands to the overall bill. When we buy the wrong T-shirt we waste a couple of dollars, deciding the wrong colour for the new kitchen costs us big time.

This big project needs one to be responsible. Project managing a renovation adds to the workload of at least one of you in your relationship. Suddenly you are not just juggling work, life, relationship and kids, but also all the tradespeople wanting access to your home.

Things will go wrong, parts are missing, work gets delayed and things just do not turn out the way you’ve anticipated them. And to put insult to injury, your partner might make you responsible for any of these mistakes. Let’s add constant noise and dirt and you have the perfect mix to derail even the most solid of relationships.

I’ve got three tips for you to avoid the worst.

  • Plan and start knowing that something will go wrong along the way and it will cost at least 20% more than envisaged.

  • Talk as often as you can and share the responsibility.

  • Go out more often than usual to leave the havoc at home, at least for a couple of hours.